Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
