My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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