I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
