he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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