I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
