I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
