we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
