I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
