Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
