she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
