i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
