Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
As shirtless as possible
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
