lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
