pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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