Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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