Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
