nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You ate ashes out of my bong
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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