Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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