saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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