I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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