Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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