My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
