Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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