You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize