we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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