no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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