why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
