It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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