so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
