I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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