All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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