You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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