Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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