he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize