But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize