its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm both gender and math confused
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize