ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
