now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
