Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
