I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Dear god my vagina.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
