just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
