i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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