Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
