Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
