your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
