@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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