I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
