I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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