ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
