I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
