'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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