I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
