just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
