Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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