break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
