As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
