I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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