in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize