you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
