If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
