Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
