You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize