his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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