hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize