he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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