haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
