I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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