I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want nice things and good sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We need to get me chipped asap
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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