Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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