If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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