I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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