she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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