If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
