Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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