This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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