shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
