you turned your livingroom into a bong?
birth control should be required to get into college
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize