Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
