We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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