I just made out with a guy for $7.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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