She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
