he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
