Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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