I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
