I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize