U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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