This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
