i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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